Hello all [7] of my faithful followers, it's that time of year again when everybody gets sick and brings it to work. It's also that time of the week when I need to have a blog done before I leave at 3:30 so I may have to phone this in. Is anybody even reading this? If you read these, call the office, ask for Austin and tell me you read the blog. I'll buy you a Frosty at Wendy's, chocolate only, I do not recognize vanilla as a real Frosty. (Only 1 winner. I'm not made of frosty's, people.)
You, my adoring fans, waiting in rapt attention for my next blog.
How to Avoid Giving the Cold/Flu
The best way to avoid getting other people sick is to NEVER leave your house. You may think this a bit extreme but I assure you it is worth it. How can you pass on the sickness if you don't mingle with the rest of us? You can't so stay home.
Another great way to avoid the spreading your nasty disease is to only be friends with animals. Think about it, have you ever given your pets a cold, nope. Go find your cat and cough in his face. He doesn't mind at all!
My final suggestion for avoiding distributing the cold/flu is investing in a quality Hazmat suit. People may laugh but who really gets the last laugh? You do, through a bio filter so it sounds like Darth Vadar laughing and that is AWESOME!
Who says you can’t relax while wearing a bright yellow hazmat suit? No one? Oh.
How to get rid of the cold/flu
Contrary to popular belief, laughter is NOT the best medicine. The best medicine is time and Netflix and that fuzzy blanket and tea and spicy pho. We covered pho last week and you need to get with the program if you still haven't tried it.
Another option is to take an Airborne. They won't help but you will feel like you are doing something and that is always nice.
Never missed a day, huh grandpa? I wonder why.