This week on the Island Properties blog I have some suggestions for a fun fourth o’ July that doesn't involve burning our units down or getting fined hundreds of dollars! As you are no doubt aware, FIREWORKS ARE BANNED BY ISLAND PROPERTIES AND THE CITY OF VANCOUVER! So if you weren’t sure what to do, maybe the answer lies within. On the other hand, maybe not because honestly I wrote this at the last minute and some of the ideas aren’t really that clever like my day drinking idea. Anybody could have thought of that.
FIREWORKS
Good news for dogs, PTSD sufferers, and property managers: fireworks have been banned in Clark County (and Island Properties). If you want to watch some fireworks I suggest going to one of the following fireworks shows.
Fort Vancouver fireworks show,
City of Ridgefield fireworks show and parade
http://www.ridgefield4th.com/1852.html
City of Camas Riverside Concert and fireworks
http://www.ridgefield4th.com/1852.html
Look, I get it, you love to blow stuff up but we cannot allow the use of fireworks on Island Properties grounds. The risk of fire and injury is just too high, not to mention it is illegal. Keep in mind that even though fireworks have been banned I am sure we will still hear some so if you do have a skittish dog or some PTSD you might consider getting out of town which brings me to my next 4th of July idea….
CAMPING
Nice tent placement. Wake up and walk into the creek!
The fourth of July is all about America and what better way to celebrate than by getting out in it? Pack up the tent and kids and dogs and beers and dirt bikes and fishing poles and s’mores and hard liquor and just settle in for a few days in the woods. It’s good for the body and good for the soul. Just remember to clean up after yourself, people who don’t clean their campsites deserve to be sterilized.
Camping in the woods is also a great place to try….
DAY DRINKING!
Linus knows what's up.
‘Murica! On the 4th of July it is considered socially acceptable to start drinking during the day. Heck! Why even wait till noon!? I know this isn’t an original idea but it is a really good one because beer.
BACKYARD MOTORSPORT
Mad Max Vancouver
The owner of the company has a 4th of July tradition of racing his friends in beat up cars around a dirt track in a field somewhere. I know that isn’t really something you can do because we would evict you in a heartbeat, I just wanted to brag about how cool my boss is. Sorry, not sorry.
STUDY YOUR HISTORY
Who the heck is this Columbus loser?
Did you know that George Washington didn’t actually have wooden teeth? They were made from human teeth pulled from his slaves. I bet they didn’t teach you that in school! Turns out that a lot of stuff they taught us wasn’t exactly accurate like how Columbus discovered America. As it turns out there was a whole bunch of people already living here, seriously they’re still here, ask them!
Fourth of July is an excellent time to teach yourself and your kids a bit about how and why this country was formed. Doesn’t that sound like fun, a history lesson on your vacation!?
What? That doesn’t sound fun? Well maybe you would like to go clean your room or for that matter…
CLEAN YOUR UNIT AND DO YOUR YARD WORK!!
Clean your dang room.
Remember when you would complain to your mom about being bored and she would tell you to clean your room? Well don’t complain to me cuz you prolly ain’t even got your grass cut! Serious it’s the green season and the yards and grounds are rich with new growth, new growth that needs to be killed immediately. Seriously if you people don’t maintain your yards then I have to come and slip notices into your door when you aren’t looking and nobody likes that.